Reminder from Jacob: On Allegiance

Jacob had been with me for several days and fortunately he is able to keep himself entertained for long periods of time, because Grandma had a lot to get done. By Tuesday afternoon, I was so proud of him and pleased to have accomplished so much that I promised to take him to Blockbuster and get him a movie to watch while I had a church board meeting that evening.

Silly me! I should have known better. If I had really been thinking I would have insisted that he pick a movie from the assortment that I already had…what was I thinking? You see, the problem is that Jacob and I have the complete opposite tastes in movies! Radically different tastes.

Jacob is into all things spooky, scary and violent. He loves zombies, monsters and skeletons, ghouls and goblins and blood sucking vampires. And me, as a person who grew up with paralyzing fear and disabling panic attacks, well I was overly cautious about what my children watched and read and saw and experienced. Determined, I was, to make sure that fear never entered their lives like it had mine. Then I find myself paired with a child who loves it all and I have a dilemma of my own making!

So, after we wandered the aisles for at least 30 minutes with no decision made, I began to get impatient with Jacob and aggravated with myself for putting us in this predicament…I should have known better. Finally, I said, “Five more minutes and then we’re outta here.” (Even as I kept steering him away from the “weird” stuff and he kept finding his way back.)

We left Blockbuster that afternoon without a movie. I told Jacob he would just have to pick one of mine. He didn’t fuss much. He was very quiet as we started home, too quiet. He was obviously pondering something and soon it came forth. “Grandma,” he sighed, “Are you ONLY a fan of God?”

I am still not quite sure how he correlated the two or how he pieced that together with our movie selection fiasco, but he did. And you know what? I liked it. I told my kids, “That’s what I want written on my grave marker. ‘Grandma, are you only a fan of God?’”

I pondered that for many days. Where does my allegiance lie in all things? And, is it true that I am “only a fan of God?” Well, pretty much and with good reason. And with that I am content.

Psalm 73:23-26
Yet I am always with You; 
You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel, 
and afterward You will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You? 
And earth has nothing I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail, 
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Reminder from Jacob: On Obedience

It was Jacob’s first “big boy bed.” It didn’t look very big to us, but for him it was a step away from his crib and babyhood. He was excited, after all, this was a whole new dimension of freedom and he loved the Sponge Bob sheets and comforter that his mom and dad had purchased, as well.

But what Jacob liked most about the new arrangement was the arrangement! His big boy bed was strategically placed at the foot of his mom and dad’s bed. The beds were in an “L” formation with about 18 inches between them. Perfect jumping space for a “jumping machine” like Jake.

Well, his dad Mark watched him jump from their bed onto his for several minutes but, after Jacob almost jumped into the wall headfirst, he decided it was too dangerous.

“Jacob,” Mark ordered sternly, “You have to stop that now! It’s too dangerous!” And, as Jacob began to prepare for another jump, Mark said, “Young man, don’t you dare jump again!” Jake looked at his daddy, then he looked at the bed, then he looked back at his daddy and simply went limp and fell like a dishrag onto his bed! (Believe me when I tell you that, sometimes, it is hard to discipline this child without first hiding somewhere and having a good laugh! Do you know what I mean?)

“Hmmm,” I thought to myself, “How often have I obeyed my FATHER just like Jacob?” Looking for a way around or an easier way or a more palatable way to do the hard thing, the difficult task, that thing which I just plain don’t want to do! So, the Lord reminds me through a 2 year olds antics that partial obedience is not obedience. Half-hearted obedience is not obedience and delayed obedience is not the kind of obedience He desires from me, either. And somehow I don’t think that my FATHER is laughing at my antics!

I do hope HE is pleased with me right now, though. I am getting ready to take the biggest step of my life. I am moving totally out of my comfort zone in every way. I am doing something that I feel is completely beyond my realm of understanding and every time I ask myself, or HIM, why I am doing this, the answer is right there in front of me…Because HE told me to and I have chosen to be obedient! And with that recognition, I have the privilege of falling limply into His arms.

“March on, My Soul, be strong!”

Reminder from Jacob: On Identity

My daughter Lolly couldn’t wait to tell me what Jacob recently said to his “other grandma.” Stacey had asked him whose boy he was and she was delighted when he responded, “Gam-ma’s boy!” “Oh good, I’m glad.” Stacey replied. To which Jacob countered, "Gam-ma Deb's boy!" Then Stacey had a good laugh at her own expense.

I am glad she thought it was funny, I hope I would have been as gracious if Jacob told me he was “Gam-ma Stacey’s boy!” See, I have trained him well, from his very first days I have told him he is “Grandma Debby’s boy.” He has heard it hundreds of times. He knows what he knows!

And I know what I know. I know “whose girl I am!” I am my LORD’S and HE is mine. What a glorious day that was for me when I began to understand who I am in Jesus Christ and just exactly what that identity means for me. To know that my identity in Christ is something no man, teenager or toddler can take away from me, saw me through the most difficult years of my life.

I know, as well, that in my ministry to individuals, it has been one of the primary truths that I have attempted to convey to hurting people. If only we, the Body of Christ, could consistently see ourselves as Christ does. If we could daily see ourselves as HIS Beloved, as Shining Stars, as the Sweet Aroma of Christ, as Joint-heirs, a Chosen People, a Royal Priesthood, a people belonging to God…if we truly believed and lived moment by moment as HIS Salt and HIS Light, oh how different our lives would look!

Reminder from Jacob: On Whose to Blame

Reminder from Jacob: On Who’s to Blame

Not too long ago Jacob came for a visit. He isn’t old enough yet to understand that Grandma is moving to Hanover. He just knows that my house is a mess! When he walked in the door the living room was full of boxes. His first words were, “Oh, no! What a mess!” Then he put his hands on his hips, stomped his foot and said, “What a big, big mess!” He had a lot more to say, but it was coming so fast and so furious that I couldn’t understand it all, and of course I was laughing so hard that I didn’t catch everything he was telling me.

You see, the funniest thing is that Jacob is a huge mess maker! I think he thinks that he is the only one who has the right to make a big mess at Grandma’s house (and everyone knows he is the only one who gets away with it)! So, he was very indignant when he encountered the big, big mess. (And I had to wonder who might have been stomping their foot at his messes!)

Anyway, a few days later while I was making my bed, I was reflecting on Jacob’s indignation and thought about the fact that a lot of people respond to the messes in their lives the same way Jacob did. I have encountered individuals who have, both literally and figuratively, pointed their fingers (or shook their fists) at God and cried something to the effect, “You made a big, big mess!” Or “How could you let this mess happen to me?” Or a thousand other questions or accusations all placing the blame on Creator God…the One who is supposed to be in charge, running the show, protecting us from all disasters!

Jacob didn’t understand the reason for the mess. He couldn’t see the bigger picture. He had no concept of what is taking place in my life right now. He just didn’t get it. All he could see was something that didn’t look quite right. This wasn’t the way grandma’s house was supposed to look, before he got there anyway. He was puzzled, he had questions and he needed someone to blame… and grandma was the most logical person in his little mind! The truth is placing blame is one of those inherent propensities that we humans are born with. Thank you, Adam and thank you, Eve!