Oh, I was hungry today...hungry for a word from the LORD. He did not fail me...He spoke right to where I am...what I struggle with and also where I want to be, right from the pages of a book I plucked off the shelf beside me in the midst of my desperate longing.
The book is called "A Place of Quiet Rest" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Here is what she wrote, maybe God will speak to you through it, as well... Or maybe it will become a prayer for your pastor or spiritual teacher.
"I love teaching the Scripture; to me there is nothing quite like seeing the Word of God penetrate and transform lives. But the process of preparing to speak is an intense one for me.
I agonize to determine what it is that the LORD wants me to teach;
I wrestle with the passages involved, seeking to understand what the Scripture really means;
I labor to put the material together in a form that is understandable and meaningful to the listener.
Throughout the process, I ask the Holy Spirit to search my own heart, to shine the light of His Word into every nook and cranny of my life, and to show me where I don't measure up to the truth I am about to proclaim.
Before opening my mouth to speak,
I spend time in prayer, pleading with God for a fresh anointing of His Spirit on my life and my lips,
and interceding for those who will hear the message.
I feel like a runner about to run an important race-every muscle taut, totally concentrated on the race ahead.
Then, while I'm actually teaching, there is more energy expended-physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I am intensely focused, never letting up from my goal-
I want the truth to penetrate every heart;
I want every individual to say yes to God about any issue He is addressing in her life.
When I have finished speaking, the battle is still not over-that is when the enemy often seeks to discourage me with feelings of inadequacy or to tempt me with seeking the praise of men for my ministry. By the time it's all over, I am generally depleted and in need of restoration."
(Debby: And then it begins all over again!")
Probably only another pastor or teacher can understand the tension that Nancy Leigh DeMoss speaks of. I pastor a diverse group of individuals, from very mature believers with a life-long faith, to those who struggle to make it there on Sunday morning, let alone find any particular book of the Bible, to teenagers and children. How to make a message come alive in a way that will speak to all is a weekly challenge for me. That is why, at the top of every manuscript, in bright red letters it says, "Apart from YOU, JESUS, I can do nothing." I know that to be true from the depths of my being.
More of You, Jesus, and less of me.
And may I weekly, daily, moment-by-moment, courageously fight the battle with my enemy named discouragement and remember who I am meant to please.