"The Revenge Gene Must Die!"

It happened a while back, I was being snubbed and ignored...purposefully. To me it was blatantly obvious and I knew her reasons and that she wasn't interested in reconciliation. I had already done what I believed I needed to do to rectify the situation, so I had a choice to make. I could choose to "repay evil with evil." I could mimic her behavior and totally ignore her, as well. I could easily turn my head when she spoke, walk out of the room when she walked in and avoid her at all costs. I could choose to do that or I could choose the Christ way. I could choose to do the opposite of what my flesh would have liked me to do and what would have been pleasing to the enemy of my soul. I was tempted, believe me, I was tempted!

But the Holy Spirit would have none of that. He compels me to "practice what I preach" even when I don't "feel like it" and that means I have to be more concerned with what will bring glory to my Father, rather than what might bring a moments satisfaction to my revenge gene! (The one I am determined, with my Father's help, to crucify!)

In the four and 1/2 years that I studied biblical conflict resolution (because I had a desperate need of it) the one most powerful lesson I learned from Ken Sande with Peacemaker Ministries is this, "EVERY conflict is an opportunity; An opportunity to Glorify God, Serve Others and Be Like Christ! And so, again, I was left with a choice...which is really no choice at all...I knew what I had to do. I knew what was required of me. Jesus spoke to me right out of Luke chapter 6. (I am convinced that, when Christ spoke those words to the disciples so long ago, He knew that eventually they would catch up with me and sear their place in my needy heart!)

He said....

²⁷"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you..."

So I chose, day-by-day, to glorify God with my attitude and my behavior and to "redirect" my thoughts when they wanted to take me elsewhere; To serve her-literally-every chance I got and to pray for her in quiet moments of the day and the wee morning hours of the night. I don't know if any of it made a difference to her or not...that really wasn't the point. The point was this, the enemy of my soul wanted to use her and the situation for his own devilish purposes, but my Father God trumped him the moment I chose to do the right thing and you know what? That revenge gene will bite the dust! Praise God!

"Me No Shame On!"

I don't know exactly how old he was, my brother Kim, maybe two, and I couldn't have been four yet. I do, though, remember the conversation clearly and distinctly, at least a brief part of it. It is indelibly imprinted in my mind's eye.

Kim was doing something he wasn't supposed to and I am sure our mother had told him several times to "STOP IT!" Until she finally shook her finger at him and said, "Shame on you!" To which Kim, defiantly and indignantly responded, "Me no shame on!"

"Me no shame on!" has become a battle cry of sorts.

The conversation took place this past week while I vacationed with friends at the beach. Three of us are on a "healing journey." We are committed to living Christ honoring lives free from the "baggage" of our pasts, whatever the cost. And that means dealing with issues of shame that have the potential to paralyze, demoralize and cripple. Shame has crippled our lives in many ways; especially in how we perceive ourselves and others. We are determined to be free of it!

Last October I was eating lunch with friends after church when a mother with a couple of boys in tow passed our table. She had her hand on her youngest son's shoulder as she propelled him out of the restaurant and, just as they passed our table, we heard her say, "You, young man, are going to confession very soon!" I know my mouth dropped open and probably stayed that way for several seconds as I tried to absorb such a comment. (It still baffles me even now!)

My thoughts and comments, at that moment, were, "That poor kid is going to grow up resenting God and his mother. He is going to be one very wounded young man!" He is just as likely to run away from "the church" and his condemning mother and the God he most likely perceives to be "the big man upstairs with the great big stick looking for someone to beat up and punish!" (I can't think of that boy without a pang of grief and sorrow! I wonder if he will ever understand my Father who is "faithful and just" and slow to anger.)

Oh yes, of course, there is a place for confession and repentance, without a doubt. The two are necessary. In fact, they are essential! They are the very essence of true freedom! But they come clothed in grace and mercy. They are ushered in by the realization of the lavish and extravagant love of Father God. They are not the legalistic shame brought on by misunderstood concepts, or doctrines of men, or the enemy of our souls or our own wounded parents, for that matter!

The Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 7:10 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I am sure we would all benefit greatly from a good dose of "godly sorrow" but let's refuse to receive the shame that hinders emotional and spiritual well being. I will be pondering this one for a while and daily learning to recognize one from the other; “Is this godly sorrow or enemy inflicted shame?” And, when the enemy points his finger in my face with accusations, I will respond with childlike faith... "Me no shame on!"

Bruised and Broken

Isaiah 42:3 “A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness He will bring forth justice...

There I was sitting on the steps to the beach, trying to stay out of the sun. (My fair skin and it’s bright rays have had a lifelong battle with one another.) So I was hiding, trying to the best of my ability, to stay out of its sight and yet still enjoy the wind, the cloudless sky and the relentless, pounding waves (a sound I love to hear.)

It wasn’t long before I noticed, through my hiding slats, the picture of nature just to my right. A broken, wind torn, wave tossed fence meant to preserve the beach vegetation lay tangled beside me; for the most part crushing and bruising the reeds it was meant to protect. Twisted and bent, scarred and battered it reminded me of life.

Every year I look forward to this week. One whole week at the beach with friends of many years. Some of them I only see during this time...did I mention how special this is to me? So, it is often a time of reconnecting, reflection and sharing. On Sunday morning we share a time of worship and I usually share some thoughts in the Word and then comes the best part, when many will share their struggles or joys, their triumphs or sorrows and we will pray for one another.

This has been just such a year. Among us there has been intense mourning over deep loss, triumphant rejoicing over the weddings of four daughters, new grandbabies, expected grandbabies, healed marriages and a new marriage to come yet this year...of one of us! An unexpected blessing.

There has been growth, but it has come from the depths of trials and tribulations of all sorts. And that is life. It is what we are promised in scripture. There will be stuff. And, it is in “the stuff” that our character is formed, that we learn to trust our faithful God and Father and that we rally together around one another...if we are wise.

If you look closely at the broken fence you will see that it is held together by strands of wire. Even broken and worn there is a “holding together.” I am glad that God created us to be a communal people. He placed us in units; families, marriages, churches and communities. But even while our “units” may, at times, fail us...in the end, all by ourselves, alone on planet earth, when it comes right down to the basic unit...it is He who holds all things together! It is He who finds the lost, rescues the struggler, heals the wounds, upholds His people, binds up our broken hearts. It is He and He alone.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

So, What Are YOU Going to Do, LORD?

If you have ever prayed a desperate prayer, then maybe you too,
will resonate with the cry of my heart today...

LORD, my prayer is bigger than big-it is enormous...
It's not for me.
It's not for "some thing."
It is not casual.
It is HUGE,
Life-transforming
Heart-changing...
A miracle of dynamic proportions in every sense of the word.

It is for healing,
for restoration,
for the rebuilding of what never was,
or for what has been destroyed...
by life,
by trials,
by wounds,
by loss.

It is said of YOU, "Nothing is impossible with God."
I believe that!
I believe that with everything that is in me.
My prayer,
My request,
My "hope in YOU" has no other basis than this...
"All things are possible with God."

Father, without You,
without Your intervention,
Without an outpouring of grace
And an infilling of Your Spirit,
all is lost in this.
Only You can bring about change.
Only You can work the impossible.
Only You can bring about the mighty miracle that is needed.
Only You!

All is lost without You.
So, what are you going to do about this?


1 John 5:14-15
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of him.

Pondering Refuge....Follow that Ball!

The storm "blew in" suddenly, or so it seemed. The clouds had actually been threatening something wild and possibly dangerous all afternoon. But it seemed like it came quickly once it started.

I watched from my favorite vantage point...right inside the door. Behind the glass door, with it open just enough so that I could feel a fine mist of rain and experience just a touch of the wild wind, I watched. (I love the wind unless, of course, it is blowing sawdust or furniture.)

I laughed to myself when a large pink beach ball came flying down the alley and made the turn into the street in front of my house. It bounced and flew and jutted from one side of the street to the other at the mercy of the wind and the rain.

The ball was blowing up the street, the rain was running down the street and soon the flighty thing became lodged under the front fender of the old truck parked across the street.

I considered going after it, but had no desire to suffer the consequences, so I continued to enjoy this spectacle of nature from the comfortable dryness of just inside the door.

I was more than a little surprised when, just as suddenly, the ball dislodged itself and began to tumble back down the street, fighting against the wind for all it was worth. It seemed to take on a life of its own, determined, against all odds, to make its way back home. (For, not only did it bounce into the stream of water running back the way it had come, but then it actually turned the corner and flew back up the alley!)

Again I laughed and, when the storm had played itself out, I ran out to try to catch a glimpse of the ball. I found it safely snuggled up against a concrete wall in the alley. Apparently, it had found a place of shelter, a refuge of sorts, hidden from the raging storms...just like me.

For I too, like that ball, have found a refuge, a place to ride out the the stormy gales of life. Regardless, of the storms that come my way, I have a safe place to run to and I am daily pavilioned in praise...

Psalm 27:5
For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me up upon a rock.
Psalm 61:4
I long to dwell in Your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of Your wings
Psalm 34:8
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the woman who takes refuge in Him.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 59:16-17
But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to You; You, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Defeating Giants

So many times I've had to face a Goliath of my own,
Often I am hurt, afraid, betrayed alone.
and there stands Goliath in all his might and glory,
So sure that he already knows the outcome of the story.

Although Goliath towers so very high above me,
And his confidence in himself is plain for me to see,
All the fiery darts and painful arrows he has hurled,
Are merely useless weapons of this defeated world.

For I am sure that when Goliath boldly faces me,
He doesn't know his enemy is one he cannot see.
For my battles with Goliath are never fought alone,
But by the Mighty Warrior declaring victory from His Throne.

For Jesus is my Shield, my steadfast Hiding Place,
In Him I've found salvation, courage, strength and grace.
He's rescued me from trouble and soothed all of my pain,
And there lies Goliath wretched, defeated, slain.

So I will sing His praises and I'll shout the victory,
It's Jesus who will reign for all eternity.
And when my life is over and earth returns to dust,
I'll be singing there in glory somewhere near the One I trust.

For I am clothed in victory, a child of the KING,
And by the power of His might I can face anything.
No mountains too high, No river too wide,
In the arms of my Savior safely I abide.


written while facing my own giants.... 3.26.89

We Are a Vapor... For Ricki

Ricki's Mom and his brother AJ

Rarely, if ever do I sleep in. I don't think I know how. This morning, though, I was just pondering the fact that it was already 7:30 and I was hardly even up yet, and what to do with this Saturday-when the phone rang. It was one of "those calls" that you know will, in many ways, change, not only the course of the day, but many lives, as well.

It was my daughter Shawna calling to tell me that her brother-in-law (Ricki's younger brother) had been killed in an accident in the early morning hours. Shock and grief ushered in this day for Ricki's family. Eventually, the shock will settle into reality, but the grieving will hang around for a long time to come...this is life.

So, it is only natural, for me at least, that this event has caused me to ponder and consider the frailty of life. One of my favorite chorus says it so simply....

We are a moment You are forever
Lord of the ages God before time
We are a vapor You are eternal
Love everlasting reigning on high

Holy holy Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Highest praises honor and glory
Be unto Your name
Be unto Your name

We are the broken You are the healer
Jesus Redeemer mighty to save
You are the love song we'll sing forever
Bowing before You blessing Your name
© 1998 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

We are a vapor...
We have no guarantee of time. This life is merely a prelude to eternity and I am reminded to make the most of each day, to count my blessings moment by moment, to continue to live knowing, with the Apostle Paul that, "To live is Christ and to die is gain."
We are the broken, You are the healer...
I pray that Ricki and Shawna and the rest of AJ's family and friends know and experience Your comfort and healing in the days to come. May a peace that passes all understanding transcend their loss and bring comfort to their souls.
Psalm 39:11
"...each man is but a breath."